A little break from the Misfits & Daydreamers...

Because 2024 has already hit me hard.

My scruffy, pound puppy Princess Leia. We called her “the Sheriff” because, as a herding and guard dog mutt, she had VERY strict rules about what everyone could do in the house.

You all know last year was a struggle for me and my family. It was just…relentless. And this year didn’t begin easily. Our household started testing positive for covid on Wednesday, despite still masking everywhere we go and staying home over the holidays.

And then we had to say goodbye to my beloved dog Leia last Friday.

I am sick and heartbroken and, quite honestly, defeated.

I feel like I ran and ran last year, trying to write and finish books in the little gaps between each Cricket illness and hospitalization, each pet illness and hospitalization, and each personal illness and hospitalization. I tried so hard to stay upbeat, laugh at all the challenges, and just keep persevering with my work. All that time, I thought I was running outdoors, dodging traffic cones and puddles…

But nope. Turns out I was on a treadmill, in a dark basement, and someone was just throwing crap in my way.

I still have all the same books due that I had due a year ago—and let me tell you, that is a frustrating feeling. And while sure, I made progress in those books, I’m still not finished with them.

Anyway, I had a totally different post I wanted to share last week, but with covid and then grief, I simply couldn’t find the energy to pull it together.

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Lest I end this first post of 2024 as a Debbie Downer, here are some things that have made me happy in the last few weeks:

1. The Slow Horses books. I had such a TV hangover after the third season of the show, so I picked up the books…and wow. Mick Herron is an incredible prose and dialogue writer. I am truly blown away with the vividness (and often hilarity) of his metaphors. The show is so faithful to the books, too. It’s impressive.

2. Against the Storm game. This is a roguelite city builder that has scratched my Frostpunk itch without being as brutally unforgiving. Against the Storm is challenging, but also playable in small batches when you have the time. (Or when you have a toddler with Covid.)

3. My final moments with Leia. She was my dog for 12 years, and while she went too young, she was the greatest pup I have ever been privileged to have (sorry to all my other animals…). Leia was a constant, ankle-side companion whose entire life revolved around me—is Mom safe? Is Mom protected? is Mom loved? I have never had a pet who gave so much, and I am bereft without her here. But I am also truly glad I could spend her final moments with her at the hospital.¹

4. Leia’s collar. This is weird and maybe gross, but I was so, so happy when I got home and realized Leia’s collar smelled like her. She had a salty, doggy smell, and I am so afraid I’ll forget that smell. The collar is now wrapped in a ziplock by my bed so I can remember her for as long as that scent remains.

5. Learning Python. The newsletter that I was going to kick off 2024 with was about my recent dive into the Python programming language. I started teaching myself this language with some great books back in November, and it has been a true joy! I love the logic and problem-solving of code, and Python is such an intuitive language.

6. My Remarkable 2. I got this e-ink tablet for Christmas, and y’all. It’s awesome. As someone who hand writes huge amounts of her novels and newsletters and brainstorming, I love how much paper I have already saved in just the two weeks since I got this device. I can edit by hand on it, write by hand on it, and read my books and others’. I have tried for over a decade to find a device that felt as comfortable to me as paper, and nothing has gotten close. Until now. Plus, the barebones utility of it is exactly what a distractible gal like me needs. (I also love how it syncs to my phone and computer!)

Ah, I feel a bit better having made that list. For all the challenges of 2023 and now 2024, there were and are plenty of things that have brought me immense joy. And Cricket had such an awesome Christmas now that she is old enough to understand Santa!

Okay, I am off to guzzle more DayQuil and try not to poke at the Leia-shaped hole in my chest. Also, my surviving dog, Asimov, is incontinent and just went all over my office! Woohoo!²

If you’re a Founding Member, don’t forget to select your free signed book for the year. And to everyone else: thanks for being here. Thanks for supporting me. I’ll return when I feel a more stable, emotionally and physically.

You’re the best.

💚 - Sooz

1. It was a rush, y’all. She had been doing better, but when I went to visit her at the animal hospital on Thursday, I told her, You don’t have to stay for me. You’ve worked so hard and fought so long, through three near-death illnesses, because I begged you not to leave me. But you can leave now, if you’re too tired. I will be okay, and I will be with you forever and always. Let me take care of you this time. And that night, her heart and kidneys stopped improving…and in less than 24 hours, Leia was gone. The vet called me on Friday and said to hurry, and I made it just in time to say goodbye. (God, I miss her so terribly, guys.)

2. The one time I let him come in! Yargh!