I’ve seen a few murmurings as of late about how hard it can be to find critique partners, so I thought now might be a good time to kick off another critique partner meet up!
If you’re in need of a secondary reader, share the following in a comment:
Title (or working title, code name! Just something for easy reference)
Genre (e.g. fantasy, mystery, romance—get specific, if you can, with subgeneres too)
Reading level (e.g. adult, YA, MG)
Word count
What you’re looking for in a reader (e.g. a quick gut check, a thorough editorial pass, a cheerleader to read as you write)
If you see someone’s project that interests you, leave a reply and figure out how to get in touch outside the comments section. ☺️
Oh, and I highly recommendthatno one share their ENTIRE manuscript right away. Treat this like dating! Only share a few chapters initially, so you can get a feeling for how your writing and critiquing styles align. If the connection is there, keep sharing! If the connection ain’t there…then no hard feelings. Better to be honest that your styles don’t match than to keep reading when neither of you is enjoying it.
Okay, this is coming in late. Because I am a chicken! But here ‘s the pitch…
In the magical realm of Grymik the Emperor is plotting Balthazar Campbell’s murder. When the plot fails and Balthazar survives, he’s propelled into the Emperor’s realm where there’s a price on his head and a target on his back…and four others just like him. The Five - destined to end the Emperor’s bloodthirsty rule.
I’m prepping a MG fantasy (90,000 wds) for submission and would love to have eyes on the query, synopsis & opening chapter. Readers willing to tell me if they are hooked on the idea, writing mc or if it just stinks (in kinder words than that, but you get the idea)
Hope I'm not too late for this! YA fantasy..space opera-ish, 90K words, dual POV; looking for another pair of eyes on my manuscript. Would love to swap and meet new people! E is a 16 yo girl with a secret crush on K, the boy next door, and a huge task to accomplish, made all the more difficult by the fact that she has trouble speaking up. She is the new head environmentalist of a desert planet
but must contend with a government official who kills plants and animals and reinforces the planet's laws against identities and religions.
S is the newly-returned former environmentalist. She's in disguise and set on revenge against those who plotted against her. She is immediately attracted to K, and E takes a dislike to her.
In order to survive, the two will need to work together.
Pitch: Gina is a girl with autism desperate for a friend. When that desperation drives her to the roof of her high school, her routine world is thrown for a loop as a freshman she doesn’t know jumps and she’s unable to stop him. After waking from sedation, it’s revealed to her that she is destined to be a shepherd for lost souls and her first charge to help cross over is none other than the boy she couldn’t save.
I know this definitely isn’t for everyone, it’s a book to make your heart both cry and swell, and it does have a trigger warning for a suicide (no details other than how he does it included, the main character does not look but she is there when it happens), but I hope at least one of you will think it sounds interesting:)
I'm seeking gut check reactions to the first 100 pages of a psychological thriller.
Here's the (too long) pitch:
Heather Franklin is the most hated woman in her small Pennsylvania town.
After federal agents arrest her husband for the brutal slaying of nearly a dozen women, Heather has been harassed by townfolk who suspect she knows more than she is telling. As the trial approaches, Heather hides in her home as the threats and media frenzy escalate. That is until she gets an unexpected visitor – Cyndi Carsons, a wealthy socialite whose gilded world exploded years earlier when her husband was imprisoned for being a serial killer.
Cyndi comes with an invitation: come to her exclusive and lush South Carolina island for a secret but supportive meeting with other wives of serial killers. After all, who else understands what Heather is going through? Heather reluctantly accepts and in Cyndi’s mansion meets other women of diverse backgrounds but a shared pain and finds understanding along with bright cocktails and dark confessions.
But her peace is destroyed when the wives stumble upon a murdered woman during a hike in the woods.
Afraid they will be implicated, the wives hide the body. However, clues point to the grim conclusion that a serial killer is on the loose. Unable to go to the police but unwilling to allow further violence, Heather and her new friends must find this monster while dealing with the suspicion that the killer may be one of them.
Hello! I am a sci-fi/fantasy indie looking for a critique partner who enjoys deep dives into magic systems, bloodlines and timelines. I write a time travel science fantasy series about a cosmic bloodline of witches who can control time. I am trying to blend a space opera with cottage-core witchy magic. Not looking for proofreading or anything like (but it is always welcome) more for the nitty gritty of my magic and world building as well as pacing, plot and character.
Quick pitch: What if your magic killed the ones you love? Witch warden Chloe is haunted by dark secrets. To ignore the past she buries herself in work. Closing up shop one summer night, Chloe gets frustrated when she is forced to accept an appointment from the oldest living vampire, Vladimir Lazarus Shadowglass...
Tropes/Genres: Dystopian sci-fi/fantasy romance. Fated mates, found family & slow burn romance with multiple POV.
Reading level: Adult (there is steam, open door romance)
Hi all! I'm currently working on incorporating CP feedback to a recent major revision of my YA spec fic, so would love to connect with folks interested in sharing work. Here are the full project deets:
Title: The Night Phoenix
Genre: Speculative fiction, specifically time travel
Reading level: YA
Word count: ~102K
Quick pitch: Penny Fittro's a runaway teen from Chicago who travels back in time through centuries of past lives to find where she belongs and break the curse that’s doomed her to die and be reincarnated every 17 years.
What I’m looking for in a reader: Someone with an eye for pacing and character issues. Would also be thrilled to find someone who loves digging into the logic/rules that govern systems of magic or fantasy. I’ll never say no to an accountability partner, either. :) I’ve been working on this project for years (thanks to a demanding/joy-sucking day job), and my writing time ebbs and flows. When it ebbs for too long, that’s when it really helps to have an accountability partner.
What I’m not looking for: Cheerleading, copyedits, proofreading. Asking for and receiving feedback on my writing is part of my day job, plus this manuscript’s been through several revs and readers already, so I'm comfortable with straightforward feedback. As a former editor, I'm ruthless at cutting so that's also not a priority need.
We might be a good fit if you: Prefer working on clean, later-stage drafts; give editorial-style feedback rather than cheerleader-style notes; prefer when writers provide guidance/questions to keep in mind with their pages; will have time to read the full later this year instead of now — think summer or even fall; enjoy immersive settings, plucky heroines, and strong female friendships.
Hey everyone! Looking for a CP to swap for a mythology-infused, middle grade fantasy set in ancient Finland.
Quick pitch: When a young shaman-in-training’s village is cursed by the death gods, she hunts for answers, encountering eclectic allies, undead monsters, and the unsettling possibility of her connection to the underworld.
I’ve been on and off in the query game for a couple years now with a few other MS’s on the shelf and in the works. It’d be really cool to find a beta reading buddy who’s also serious about getting published and can analyze story with an editorial eye. (No need to be a pro though—neither am I!) Brainstorming and bouncing ideas off each other would also be cool.
That being said, I’d also be open to finding a cheerleader/accountability partner as I’ve never tried that and it sounds fun.
Hey, Diane here, looking for critique partners for the second draft of my YA fantasy novel, complete around 78k words.
Pitch:
Umai is the seventeen-year-old heir to the throne of the proud, but dying country of Pegasia. It is still three years before she comes of age and becomes the queen, but she is ready to restore the land of the legendary Pegasus riders to its former glory.
Pegasia is poor, wars are expensive, and to wage one she is required to make not-so-honorable moves. First, she forces the uncle she loves dearly to step down from regency. Next, with the help of her only spy among the enemy, Sybil, she kidnaps Kedrick, a foreign highborn weakling with a heart of gold. Lucien, a personal guard to Kedrick, also finds himself in the Pegasian dungeons with the young lord he was once best friends with, but now despises to serve.
Themes and tropes: Teenage romance, enemies-to-lovers, disabled or neurodiverse POV characters, lots of allegories about exploitation of natural resources, slavery.
I'm not a published author yet, and please keep in mind English is not my native language. So, while I'd love to help you with dialogues, characterization, and plot, I might not be the most reliable help on grammar.
Hi all I am so excited this is going on... thank you again Susan!
So here is my pitch: Regency Bath, witches and werewolves battle it out as two old lovers struggle to figure out if they have a future, while a forgotten goddess pulls the strings.
I'm looking for crit partners and too, accountability partners to keep me enthused through the slog of a revision.
Genre: YA fantasy with a helping of adventure and romance. Think Caraval meets a necromantic Phantom of the Opera.
Reading level: YA
Word Count: 90-100k (reworking the ending atm)
What I'm looking for in feedback: Where is it boring/confusing? Where is it working? I want to get a sense of general reader reactions :)
I would LOVE a critique partner who has already finished writing multiple books, but anyone who enjoys YA fantasy could be a good fit! Fantasy is my comfort-food genre (Brandon Sanderson, Naomi Novik, Stephanie Garber, Holly Black, Susan Dennard) , but I also enjoy urban fantasy, SF, mystery, and MG.
Hello! So excited about finding readers. Writing and submitting without beta readers is... scary, lonely, and all kinds of anxiety producing crud.
SHADOW BORN -- MG Fantasy (portal, ensemble); 90, 000 words
Shadow Born is complete with many many drafts behind it. I'm sending it out soon but I want to know if the opening 10 or 20 pages would hook a reader, inspire them to want to read more. I'm looking to trade opening pages to see if I can help with someone else's MS and they could take a look at my pages.
SHADOW BORN ... pitch:
When fourteen-year-old Balthazar runs track for the first time ever, smashing every record ever set, he attracts the attention of media, university scouts and the Emperor Grymick, who’s been searching for him for over a decade.
After surviving the Emperor’s assassin, Balthazar is thrust into Grymik where his real father is imprisoned in the Emperor’s dungeon … and spies, assassins and warriors lie in wait for the hero destined to lead the next rebellion.
Balthazar isn’t interested in rebellion and he doesn’t believe in destiny. He just wants to meet (maybe rescue) his real father. The legendary leader of the first rebellion against the Emperor. Balthazar tears across the realm, dodging spies and assassins to assemble a dungeon rescue team: the others prophesied to end the Emperor’s rule: An enigmatic huntress, a swaggering daredevil, a hulking warrior, a deadly princess, and a spy.
To survive the dungeon Balthazar must embrace the destiny he denies, and the courage he doesn’t believe he has. And fight: For the best friends he ever had. The only family he has left. And the people of Grymik, living under the hobnailed boot of the Emperor.
Quick Pitch: Ilk — a 12-yr-old Forest Folk — is gifted with a fiery power his people fear, but when starving Bears threaten Ilk’s home, he must find a way to use his fire to save his only friend and restore balance to the forest.
What I am looking for:
I am in the midst of a major overhaul on my 1st draft. Much is written but much is a mess! Looking for CPs who can see the gems buried in the mud as well as help me weed out the parts that just are not 2nd draft material.
Overall, I am looking to find fantasy enthusiasts who can read and review the balance I am trying to strike between world building, magic systems, character and plot. I want to know where you struggle and where the story flows off the page and into your imagination.
First draft still writing. Looking for someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to just talk to about plot and next steps in publishing. Beta reading and giving feedback. Will also do the same for you.
I’m currently transcribing/revising my MG fantasy/adventure draft and am looking for someone who can give me notes on the overall tone, plot and characters. Making sure they flow and it isn’t just a hot mess.
Working title: Caldwell’s Curious Curiosities
Genre: Fantasy/adventure
Reading level: MG
Work in progress Pitch: Lucas Ward is no stranger to the strange and unusual. Not when he has grown up in the foster system and has seen some pretty unusual things. But when he is suspended from school for getting into a fight and then chased into the woods by his arch nemisis, he realizes that all of the strange and unusual things he has seen, don’t hold a candle to Caldwell’s Curiosities.
Stumbling into a new world where cats talk, dragons come in miniature and magic abounds, he is thrown into a quest that he is sure will get him killed. With the crew of the Harbinger, including Redbeard, a not so Pirate, and Piper, a pink haired fire catcher, he will have to use his brains to help them find the Isle of Mist, where a rare firebird resides and a prophecy lies waiting, just for him.
I'm almost finished with the first draft of my adult high fantasy/portal fantasy and looking for cheerleaders and beta readers who can give notes on plot, structure and tone.
WORKING TITLE: Cry of the Wraith
GENRE: High Fantasy
READING LEVEL: Adult/NA
WORDCOUNT: Will be around 170k
PITCH: Book one in a planned series, CRY OF THE WRAITH follows two characters; Kassia, a murdered woman from Earth who is reborn in a world far from our own and forfeits her place amongst the blessed to become a Wraith, a Reaper with magic, in return for hunting down those who killed her and Vanora, a noblewoman with a secret that people could kill for who leaves her kingdom for the first time in search of the only thing that could save her dying father.
But a King made of shadows hunts them both, and they will both come to discover that their magic is more connected to their world than they know.
Hi, I'm Nour (she/her)! I'm currently in the home stretch of the first draft of my MG fantasy novel and I'm looking for betas who can be as critical as possible about the plot, characters, and tone. It's very Harry Potter-esque, except it's a bit of a subversion of the genre. It's still a WiP so I'm not sure what the total word count will be, but as of now it's pushing 140k.
GENRE: FANTASY/ADVENTURE
READING LEVEL: Middle Grade- YA (its a bit hard to put a finger on)
WORDCOUNT: 140k~
PITCH: THE NAUTILUS PATH tells the story of four kids - Kat, a shy girl who hates confrontation, Max, a sarcastic brainiac with big dreams,Terry, a clumsy troublemaker with a horrible secret, and Marcus, a boy who seemingly has it all - who discover that they are Shifters, humans with the ability to "Shift" into animal forms. They are whisked away to the isolated, mysterious place called the New School and introduced to the complicated society of Shifters, but soon they begin to discover that their new lives are more difficult -and dangerous- than they seem.
I'd love to read any science fiction or fantasy stories, for any age! I'm good at critiquing plot, worldbuilding, character development- if you want brutal honesty, I'm your girl (I can be a cheerleader too though haha)
Hi, I'm Lou (She/her)! I'm currently revising my literary thriller adult novel and am looking for betas who can read it in a month or so. I like to describe my novel as Emma Cline's THE GIRLS meets FIGHT CLUB but with chronically online fangirls. Set in the early 2010s, during the nascent days of social media as we know it today, it follows Hero Miller, a teen boy who is discovered and put into a boy band after his infamous escape from captivity projects his dreamy baby face on millions of TVs all over the country; and Lupe, the cancer-ridden, depressed teen girl who joins a group of overzealous fans willing to do anything for the boy that has quickly become their beacon of hope.
GENRE: LITERARY/UPMARKET THRILLER
READING LEVEL: ADULT
WORDCOUNT: 100k
I'm only willing to read adult novels. I'm mostly familiar with literary, upmarket, romance, and thrillers. I don't read a lot of sci-fi or fantasy, but I'd be willing to, just be aware of my lack of expertise. Would love to discuss and possibly exchange a few chapters if any of you are interested!
Looking for beta feedback both on my murder mystery novel (100k) and contemporary romance (still WIP, expected 90k).
Here’s the murder mystery pitch
THE COLOR SHE BLEEDS (99,500 words) is a murder mystery for fans of the amateur sleuth in Still Lives, the dark academia of In My Dreams I Hold a Knife, and the rich historical setting and characterization of Summer of ‘69. Set at Scripps Women’s College in LA in the spring of 1968, Julie, a first-generation student raised by a single mother, had always followed the university’s antiquated rules — until she fell for Heather. But three months into their whirlwind affair, Heather gets engaged to the boyfriend Julie thought she was about to dump. Reeling from the news, Julie searches to confront her — only to find Heather dead at the bottom of the stairs to their dorm's basement.
Broken-hearted, Julie learns that someone had reported their relationship to the Dean, making her a key suspect in the murder. To prove her innocence and understand why Heather betrayed her, Julie tells friends Lynne and Kathleen about her relationship and the trio set out on their own investigation. They realize Julie wasn’t the only secret Heather had been keeping: from Kathleen’s rushed abortion to the marital troubles of Scripps’s president, Heather had been the confidant of countless campus scandals. Julie must learn who she can trust as she tries to discover which of Heather’s secrets someone at Scripps would have killed to keep quiet.
Genre: Multi-POV Fantasy adventure with humor and romance subplots
Reading level: Adult
Word count: 160,000ish
What I’m looking for in a reader: I’m just about finished with my 5th (ish) draft and looking for someone to offer some big picture feedback (character arcs, pacing, worldbuilding, etc.) as well as just generally what’s working/not working. I’d like to get it ready to start querying before the end of summer so having someone to be an accountability partner and cheerleader would also just be really great.
About: When three estranged sisters learn their deadbeat pirate dad isn’t as dead as they thought, they’re forced to journey together to restore him to life, partnering with necromancers, terrible bounty-hunter co-workers, and a sea siren that one of them will do anything to escape.
What I’m looking for: I would love a second opinion and notes on the story but am also open to just being an accountability partner and having somebody to share my work in and be supportive without being as critical
Quick pitch: Khaliun Zalkarov has forgotten what the world outside is like, but she does remember the betrayal that left her imprisoned in an iron tower amidst the Golden Sea. When an encounter with an old friend presents her with the opportunity to escape, she faces the choice of wether to leave behind the horrific power that haunts her or use it to avenge the person she loves most. Outside of Valterra, worlds are converging, and a war may break out on a scale the Known World had never seen before.
Tropes: revenge, conflict of interests, found family, fantastical creatures, emotion-based magic system, nautical fantasy, military fantasy, political fantasy
What I'm looking for: I am really looking for an accountability partner and occasional reader. Most of what I am currently working on are short stories, comic strips and a few animation scripts. Would love input on the story, if it can be understood and character voice. I would love to read other peoples work! Character development/ backstory, story themes and world building are my strengths, and heads up I ask a lot of questions.
Inspirations: Spirited away, saga, Gravity falls, over the garden wall.
Vibe check: Magic, mystery, oddities and occasionally death.
Word Count: ~100k (but with a middle chunk missing because of rewrites)
What I'm looking for in a reader: someone who can tell me if my story structure is working. I'm specifically worried about pacing (rushing through events), character development, and whether you can actually SEE the things I'm trying to write.
Here's a really, really condensed version of what this is about...
The story follows Verala, a Blessed warrior of the Deity of Order and the cousin of Divi: the deity's heiress. Verala has always been close with her cousin, and despite Community disapproval, is determined to remain so until Divi’s Ascension in a year’s time. However, those plans fall apart when Verala is thrust back to a part of her life she never wanted to revisit and is forced to face a former friend she never wanted to see again. What follows is a series of troubling events, culminating in Verala’s discovery of a terrible secret — but with her reputation in tatters, her unfounded warnings might fall on deaf ears.
What I can help with: I'm good at helping with the broad strokes - character flaws/motivations, plotting, consistency, etc. and if ever you want to make something in the plot hurt more, apparently I'm good at that, too. I can also zero in on scenes that are a concern if needed and can help with flow issues :)
My ‘lil’ pitch: Twenty -five year old Bailey Banks moonlights as a Bridesmaid for Hire to pay off her student loans. But when her aloof coworker Evelyn Sinclair finds her advertisement and wants to hire her, Bailey might have finally met her match. She may be in the business of crafting Happily Ever Afters, but how can you help someone who loathes the institution of marriage? As the wedding approaches and secrets are revealed, Bailey is determined to get Evelyn her happily ever after, even it means jeopardizing her own heart.
What I’m looking for: First and foremost I’d love honest feedback and thoughts about my WIP. I also would like to know if the comedic beats are actually funny and some help focusing in on the emotional tension of the story.
I cannot wait to meet and connect with new writing buddies! ☺️
Genre: Adult Fantasy (possibly dark fantasy? I'm not sure)
Reading level: Adult or NA
Word count: over 140,000
What I'm looking for in a reader: My first draft is complete and I'm looking for someone to give me constructive feedback. Honestly, I'm looking for a writing buddy. I'm more than happy to swap chapters and have discussions about them!
A little about TSOS: It's written in 1st person POV from two FMCs. One is an "Undesirable" commoner who is taken from her home and the other is the princess who she's forced to work for. They both have a common love for a book of folklore and fairytales - That book may or may not hold some terrifying truths about their own fates and the fate of the kingdom. (I'm aware this synopsis is terrible but that's the gist! lol)
Content warnings: infant death, violence, child abandonment, torture, unmanaged mental illness, sensual and mild sexual content (nothing explicit in the first book), parental loss, terminal illness, and suicidal ideation.
Subgenres: West African Mythology and folklore, Mystery, Crime
Reading level: Adult
Word count: Currently 75652 but might end up longer as I'm doing my final round of edits and fleshing out the story
Trigger warnings: There are some tough themes being explored here, like SA, parental abuse, drug use, alcohol use, suicidal thoughts and ideation, threatened child harm (doesn't happen), gore, and others I probably haven't identified yet. Plus I try my best to write around said issues rather than 'glorify' said issues.
Inspirations: The mortal Instruments by Cassandre Clare, ShantyTown on Netflix, Manacled by Senliyu, Papa Midnite (DC comics), Constantine (DC comics, movie and that short lived but highly entertaining TV series), American Horror story: Coven etc.
Tropes: Found family, Betrayal, very loose Hades and Persephone retelling, almost lovers to enemies and back again, descent into madness, we're all villains here, kidnapped, African folklore and mythology etc.
Backstory: Pamela was a women's rights activist and IT girl extraordinaire disconnected from the world against her will. Her family had ensured that news of what happened to her didn't get to the media. Locked up, lied against, her life stolen to appease a family curse.
In an effort to escape her fate, she attempted to broadcast the details of her situation. However, the story was reedited and managed and she found out just how little and insignificant she really was. How powerless.
To restore her standing with the family, it was agreed upon that she should apologise for revealing the secret, completely recant her words, lie about why she would make up such a secret and blame herself for it that such a thing had ever crossed her mind.
But she had a plan to run away, use her own money to leave, potentially hide out with her mother's family before fleeing the country. However she was caught at the bus station by the enemy's men, blindfolded and taken to a strange house. There, the men held her down while the enemy injected liquid madness into her.
She woke up a year later, but it could have been a century, for time had no meaning in the dark, gray place. Her entire being a speck of dust, the rest of her was rage, a red purple mass of churning inferno that resembled bruised flesh and blood. But she was, most importantly, a coward. Threats were made, former allies had been punished severely and she was too weak to fight back, too afraid to die.
But out of madness, born of the improbable mix of rage, cowardice and something else came a gift, a door, a way out, out of feelings she didn't want, actions she couldn't control, out of the body turned cage, a body she wasn't entirely sure was hers and into another's.
She could leave her body and return to it at will.
What I am looking for: A brutally honest cheerleader, a thorough editorial pass and someone who can keep me honest and motivated. I'm close to working on querying as well. What I really need is a critique partner who is brutally honest yet constructive and somehow nice about it, who can go through my work with a fine-toothed comb, looking for weak spots, inconsistencies. I really need a consistent writing buddy especially someone who also has a WIP ready to show to others as well.
Genre: Multi- POV fantasy with sapphic romance as subplot
Word Count: 92k
What I am looking for: I'm mainly looking for help with my query package, but would be happy to swap chapters.
About: Entela had no desire to follow in her mother and brother’s footsteps and join an organisation of monster slayers known as the Cleaver Guild. But when she instinctively uses her sword to slay the monsters that interrupted her sword swallowing performance with the circus, becoming a Cleaver seems inevitable.
One of her first contracts with the Guild is to investigate a sinister plant infestation threatening an elven city. As she and the beautiful, yet mysterious elven archivist Merideth Dileian get to the root of the botanical problem, Entela discovers that the definition of "monster" is ambiguous and equivocal. Especially as she revisits the reasons she didn't want to become a Cleaver in the first place.
Title: Publishing murder mystery and/or YA historical fantasy - will need readers for both!
Genre: Either murder mystery or fantasy
Reading level: adult/YA
Word count: c.80-100k
What I'm looking for: I'm always keen to meet new writing buddies! I prefer to share chapters to start with and see if we're a good match. I enjoy YA and adult fantasy (towards the literary rather than commercial end), sci fi, crime, romance, and historical. I'm agented and pretty serious about my craft, have 6 completed MS. My strengths as a critique partner are plot and world-building. Currently drafting (fairly quickly) the murder mystery, so ideally someone who I can exchange a few chapters with and then swop a full MS later this year. YA historical will be next (I have a draft but its SO rough it needs me to sort it out before I can share with betas).
Publishing murder mystery is what it says on the box: think Notting Hill meets Agatha Christie. Pitch: After a one night stand with a popular male author, Cecil finds herself in the frame for his murder and decides to discover the real truth.
YA fantasy is about a monster-hunting princess and a prince who transforms into a seamonster who enter a marriage of convenience. But it has lots of literary/Roman history so think Lucy Holland's Sistersong meets Alchemy of Souls kdrama meets Beowulf.
Title: Dead 13 (Found Family X The Ruin of Kings X Foundryside)
Genre: Fantasy (Epic)
Reading Level: Adult
Word Count 130,000
Premise: The Thirteen gods, weary of eternity, divided humanity into the divine races and accidentally unleashed soul-devouring fiends on mortals. Echo has vowed to free herself of her own parasite, going so far to travel to the ends of the world for a cure. But a chance encounter with a long-lost friend thrusts her back into a world of duty she thought she'd escaped.
Reader: This project just needs someone who likes fantasy to give me an idea if its working or not. A little bit of cheerleading and a lit bit of flagging where my pacing/character development is too slow. This is also nearly ready to query and so I'm looking to swap query packages here in the next few weeks.
What I'm looking for in a reader: a gut check that's also an editorial pass or something like that. I want to add more interiority to the story, and I need more eyes to figure out where the story needs. I'm also looking for places to cut/condense words
General plot info: Budding epidemiologist and chemist Ryder Canton dies in a car crash. Three hundred years later, he wakes up to a world that's been ravaged by disease. As he's trying to adjust to his new life, new outbreaks strike NYC where he lives, and he investigates them as a distraction at first. But when an outbreak claims the lives of two of his old friends, he realizes the outbreaks aren't natural, and he throws himself into his investigation. Before long, he realizes he's in over his head. If he's not careful, he may end up the next victim.
About: (Basic) Feared and despised, Enid fights her inherent empathy -- striving to become the fearless executioner her forefathers would be proud of. But her careful plan to prove herself capable goes awry when her kingdom's beloved prince is convicted of treason against his brother the king, and she can't bring herself to kill.
What I'm looking for: A cheerleader/editorial partner at a similar stage as me. The book is complete, but I need to cut down on word count, so anyone who could help with that specificly. I'm also working on my query letter.
Genre: witchy contemporary fantasy with romance subplot
Reading level: New Adult-ish
Word count: ~90k (two chapters into a big revision)
Basic premise: When a witch is kidnapped by a rival coven, she must find allies and use her skills to defeat their common enemy, a creature killing young witches.
What you’re looking for in a reader: quick gut check, accountability partner, etc. I'm always searching for writing buddies in general, but for this story specifically, I'm diving into a major revision and feeling a bit overwhelmed. I would be looking for someone who can be a cheerleader and help keep me on track, but who also has an eye for story and can help me identify and fix weak spots.
Title: Mech-witch project, Iron Widow meets the magic of the Spellsong Cycle (Sonata Code, working title)
Genre: Science fiction/Fantasy
Reading level: Adult
Word count: 81k
What I'm looking for: A gut check, an editorial pass, something in between? I would at least like to add another 5-9k and need some eyes to help me find places to expand.
Vibes: Mech-driver Aria lives on a desolate planet where crystals are used for their resonant magic. When she is forced to accept the Chosen One in her squad, she must accept her role as "support." But when the Chosen One dies, and Aria’s to blame, she must find a way to protect her squad and what’s left of her family from storms that open rifts to another wold and release metal eldritch monsters which continue to ravage the planet.
Oh man, I've been so scared of moving to this part.
Title (or working title, code name! Just something for easy reference): The Atlas Archive
Genre (e.g. fantasy, mystery, romance—get specific, if you can, with subgeneres too): YA scifi
Reading level (e.g. adult, YA, MG): YA
Word count: ~80k
What you’re looking for in a reader (e.g. a quick gut check, a thorough editorial pass, a cheerleader to read as you write): Gut checks, a soundboard buddy to go through logic/consistency issues, co-working buddies, accountability buddies, a sanity saver, haha. I'm in the middle of a total overhaul/rework after I noticed some things I wanted to change so it's a WIP right now.
General plot info: Vesper is given a mission by her brother who abandoned her on a trading port and disappeared, foisting her off into the hands of their droid companion, Atlas. What’s the mission exactly? That’s what she would like to know. Coordinates are regularly sent to her transmitter with instructions GO HERE and nothing else. She keeps visiting these locations hoping to find her brother. Instead, she stumbles onto a galactic scandal and works together with a misfit crew of tagalongs to bring it to light.
Vibes: found family, we all have abandonment issues, know thyself, ride or die sibling dynamics, maybe the real #aesthetic is the friends we made along the way, technology and advancement are neutral until wielded by one who brings intention to them, let it GOOOOOOO, let it GOOOOO!, misfit crew hijinks ensue, one entity makes all the difference in some cases
How I critique: I really enjoy developmental editing (so overall looking at plot and consistency), but I've also done line editing, beta reading, and a few reader reports. I let people know what I like and what doesn't quite work for me and where things are too thin or thick.
Am happy to chat via Discord or email or however you'd like to communicate. Thank you!
It's also a bit nerve-wrecking, as I've never done this before, so here it goes:
Title: Of Dragons and Storms
Genre: Multi-POV Fantasy
Reading level: YA
Word count: 96k (after extensive editing)
What if dragons just up and vanished one day, leaving only embers of their magic in their wake? 17-year-old Briar is one of those embers, one of only seven people born with magic in her veins. And she is more than determined to snuff out her legendary magic once and for all.
I'm in the final stages of editing out my manuscript and in the early stages of writing my query letter and synopsis. I'd love to meet some people who can provide feedback on both query pieces and have some tips and tricks on that front!
I'd also love to help out fellow writers with critiquing; think things like overall pacing, plot holes, character development, and cutting down word count.
Word Count: 55k and more since I deleted the last part of Act2 and Act 3 completely and rewriting it at the moment.
What I am looking for: I am looking for someone who can help go through my book and see if it is structured in a way that appeal the readers and hopefully an agent. I need someone to walk with me through the developmental editing process and help me to make the book sparkle enough. I want someone to help me through the editorial part as well and I am willing to do the same. It would be great if we can set up a deadline with each other and be a cheerleader and motivation to keep going forward till the finish line.
What you’re looking for in a reader: Gut check, initial check for major plot holes
The Duffy Sisters is National Lampoons Vacation meets RV for kids. It's a road trip/family drama story that has the family minivan breaking down in California after a week vacation/college visit. There are no rental cars available, money is tight, family tensions are high, and the family has to rent a U-Haul to get home to Pennsylvania (based on a true story!)
This is a first draft that I'm revising chapter by chapter. I'd love to have a reader to check in with every week or two, exchanging 1-2 chapters, looking for major plot holes, ways to tighten up writing, point out where I'm telling when I could be showing, etc. I had a wonderful CP for several years who passed away from cancer last summer and I'm ready to get vulnerable with someone new. Ideally, I'd love to find someone who is willing to continue working together on projects for awhile so we can really dig into each other's writing styles and ultimately become each other's cheerleaders. I don't love science fiction or high fantasy, so I wouldn't be the best choice for those kinds of books. However, i do write MG and YA, so I'm happy to partner with someone who writes either. Thanks!
This is wonderful, thanks Susan! I can't wait to connect with some awesome CPs.
Title: Heir of Ruin (The Wordwalker, book 1 of 3) – INKHEART x ACOMAF (but less spicy)
Genre: Multi-POV Fantasy with Romance (low-spice)
Reading level: New Adult
Word count: currently ~101k
Vibe check: book-within-a-book, medieval-esque setting, all the magic, prophecies, spies, deep world history, love vs. duty
What I'm looking for: I hope to work with CPs who are craft-focused and can help me find plotholes, areas of confusion, and character decisions that might seem off. I'd love to work with people who can provide critique from a high-concept, "is this plot working" level and then can dig into scene-by-scene improvements at a later time. I really want to make this manuscript sparkle so please tell me what's working but don't be shy with what isn't.
How I critique: I aim to highlight what sparkles while also being very direct about what doesn't. I can help with high concept, structural changes as well as line edits and copyedits (so let me know what stage you're at!).
Book pitch:
An expedition to the Ruin of Doraja is the last piece Galen needs to become a world-renowned scholar. What he finds—a magic book with a vengeful narrator, a world frozen in time, a stony Queen who wants him dead—might make him famous, or cause him to lose himself completely.
Wow Susan, thank you for this gift! Hi everyone... I'm looking for a crit partner too!
Title - The Cat Walks Alone
Genre - science fiction (soft)
Reading level - adult
Word count -128,000
What you’re looking for in a reader- a cheerleader to keep me enthusiastic through the revision process, and a sharp mind who might see holes in my story that I have missed (but I don't need a copy editor).
My first adventure in revising a novel - turns out writing is easy, revision not. This book follows the far future adventures of an itinerant monk who's not as stable in their practice as they thought, and while catching a ride on a passing spaceship are forced to face a past they wanted to forget.
I'm looking forward to hopefully working with someone!
Title: A Boy Caught Between Gods
Genre: High Fantasy
Level: YA
Word count: 100k
I'd love to find someone who enjoys the opening chapters enough to read the rest and provide constructive criticism and cheerleader comments on any and everything they can think of. I'd also appreciate working with someone who could keep me accountable with deadlines and would like to keep working together in the future.
Here is the synopsis I have: Colm Stolli’s life has been consumed by winter. Snow and ice have ruled since before he was born—freezing every lake, river, and harbor in Aberdeen. Colm’s country has been fighting a civil war for centuries. The reigning monarch, Queen Marsia Allata, and her ancestors, are blessed with summer magic, but it is not strong enough to balance the winter magic in Venaress Moroz, who is waging war to reclaim her family’s throne.
Colm struggles everyday to help his family survive. But when he discovers a dark secret Venaress and her forces do not want Queen Marsia to learn, his life is upended after a deadly confrontation. Forced to abandon his home with his younger sister, Colm learns the world is much larger and complicated than what he has known his entire life. But one thing is still clear: In winter, anyone can die.
And content warnings: fantasy violence, gore, suicide, emotional trauma, depression, death.
What I'm looking for in a reader: Honest feedback about what is and isn't working, but not solely critique. I need to know what I'm doing right too, not just what I'm doing wrong lol. So, constructive criticism and cheerleader combined.
What I'm like as a critique partner: I do critiques with compliment sandwiches because that generally works best for both encouragement and pointing out what could use improvement, and that's what is best for me, too. I frame the "issues" I see as suggestions rather than hard and fast "you MUST change this", because I understand that everyone has different tastes. Just because it doesn't work for me doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.
Woohoo! I'm looking for literary friends working on ambitious high-concept fiction to build our craft together, especially with world-building.
Title: Sister Earth
Genre: Speculative (mystical, far-future)
Reading level: Adult
Word count: 65k
What you’re looking for in a reader: For now, a swap of the first 10 pages. I've started querying this one. I also have short stories in progress, and a rewrite of an earlier novel, a mystical climate change dystopia.
Thank you, Susan, for running this amazing meet-up once again. You are the best!
Title: A Kingdom of Secrets & Sacrifice
Genre: Sci Fi / Urbani Fantasy
Reading Level: YA
Word Count: ~90K
I've got 2 novels published in the UK but am struggling to get this one agented, so I think my opening needs to be strengthened.
I'll pop a few paragraphs straight up here, so you can get a feel if it's something that might interest you. Then let me know what you've got and hopefully we're a match.
By the time the Greyhound rumbled toward the brightening glow of my hometown’s skyline, the once soothing engine had morphed into a jarring irritation. A bubbling rush of excitement surged in my chest. Mom, Dad, and Tommy would for sure be waiting, and I could practically sense their eager anticipation and feel them flinging their arms around me.
Yet, a creeping unease replaced my warmth and prickling hairs danced across my forearms. Despite my attempts to dismiss the unease as my overactive imagination the feeling gnawed at my consciousness. As the bus slowed to a crawl then veered into the station, a near tangible urgency sparked in my veins, and I found myself scraping beads of sweat from my forehead as I scanned the lot. At the far end, an electric vibration hummed. A streetlamp flickered and burst into brilliant life. Within its glowing yellow circle, a shadowed humanoid form stood, scrutinizing the back of the bus—where I sat. Our eyes connected and held for a beat before it shrank back behind the post.
Unconsciously, my fingers found Gramma’s locket and traced its rough surface. For some reason, her premonition rose in my mind. It brought a lump to my throat. She’d disappeared five years ago, stolen by her gift, and now it seemed to be enticing me to lose myself to its unwanted revelations.
Okay, this is coming in late. Because I am a chicken! But here ‘s the pitch…
In the magical realm of Grymik the Emperor is plotting Balthazar Campbell’s murder. When the plot fails and Balthazar survives, he’s propelled into the Emperor’s realm where there’s a price on his head and a target on his back…and four others just like him. The Five - destined to end the Emperor’s bloodthirsty rule.
I’m prepping a MG fantasy (90,000 wds) for submission and would love to have eyes on the query, synopsis & opening chapter. Readers willing to tell me if they are hooked on the idea, writing mc or if it just stinks (in kinder words than that, but you get the idea)
Hi Nour! I'm so sorry it took me this long to get mack to you... substack wouldn't let me in?! Until today when in took one click and no password.
Anyway - yes, please if you are still looking to swap pages.
Literary short story writer looking for writers to join a critique group.
Hope I'm not too late for this! YA fantasy..space opera-ish, 90K words, dual POV; looking for another pair of eyes on my manuscript. Would love to swap and meet new people! E is a 16 yo girl with a secret crush on K, the boy next door, and a huge task to accomplish, made all the more difficult by the fact that she has trouble speaking up. She is the new head environmentalist of a desert planet
but must contend with a government official who kills plants and animals and reinforces the planet's laws against identities and religions.
S is the newly-returned former environmentalist. She's in disguise and set on revenge against those who plotted against her. She is immediately attracted to K, and E takes a dislike to her.
In order to survive, the two will need to work together.
This is based on an old story.
Hi:)
Title: No Way But Through
Genre: paranormal contemporary
Reading level: YA
Word count: 60k
Mostly seeking gut reactions
Pitch: Gina is a girl with autism desperate for a friend. When that desperation drives her to the roof of her high school, her routine world is thrown for a loop as a freshman she doesn’t know jumps and she’s unable to stop him. After waking from sedation, it’s revealed to her that she is destined to be a shepherd for lost souls and her first charge to help cross over is none other than the boy she couldn’t save.
I know this definitely isn’t for everyone, it’s a book to make your heart both cry and swell, and it does have a trigger warning for a suicide (no details other than how he does it included, the main character does not look but she is there when it happens), but I hope at least one of you will think it sounds interesting:)
Hi everyone:
Title: Welcome to the Club
Genre: Thriller
Reading Level: Adult
Word Count: 89,000
I'm seeking gut check reactions to the first 100 pages of a psychological thriller.
Here's the (too long) pitch:
Heather Franklin is the most hated woman in her small Pennsylvania town.
After federal agents arrest her husband for the brutal slaying of nearly a dozen women, Heather has been harassed by townfolk who suspect she knows more than she is telling. As the trial approaches, Heather hides in her home as the threats and media frenzy escalate. That is until she gets an unexpected visitor – Cyndi Carsons, a wealthy socialite whose gilded world exploded years earlier when her husband was imprisoned for being a serial killer.
Cyndi comes with an invitation: come to her exclusive and lush South Carolina island for a secret but supportive meeting with other wives of serial killers. After all, who else understands what Heather is going through? Heather reluctantly accepts and in Cyndi’s mansion meets other women of diverse backgrounds but a shared pain and finds understanding along with bright cocktails and dark confessions.
But her peace is destroyed when the wives stumble upon a murdered woman during a hike in the woods.
Afraid they will be implicated, the wives hide the body. However, clues point to the grim conclusion that a serial killer is on the loose. Unable to go to the police but unwilling to allow further violence, Heather and her new friends must find this monster while dealing with the suspicion that the killer may be one of them.
Thanks
Hello! I am a sci-fi/fantasy indie looking for a critique partner who enjoys deep dives into magic systems, bloodlines and timelines. I write a time travel science fantasy series about a cosmic bloodline of witches who can control time. I am trying to blend a space opera with cottage-core witchy magic. Not looking for proofreading or anything like (but it is always welcome) more for the nitty gritty of my magic and world building as well as pacing, plot and character.
Quick pitch: What if your magic killed the ones you love? Witch warden Chloe is haunted by dark secrets. To ignore the past she buries herself in work. Closing up shop one summer night, Chloe gets frustrated when she is forced to accept an appointment from the oldest living vampire, Vladimir Lazarus Shadowglass...
Tropes/Genres: Dystopian sci-fi/fantasy romance. Fated mates, found family & slow burn romance with multiple POV.
Reading level: Adult (there is steam, open door romance)
Title: Lightbreaker
Word count: 120k
Hi all! I'm currently working on incorporating CP feedback to a recent major revision of my YA spec fic, so would love to connect with folks interested in sharing work. Here are the full project deets:
Title: The Night Phoenix
Genre: Speculative fiction, specifically time travel
Reading level: YA
Word count: ~102K
Quick pitch: Penny Fittro's a runaway teen from Chicago who travels back in time through centuries of past lives to find where she belongs and break the curse that’s doomed her to die and be reincarnated every 17 years.
What I’m looking for in a reader: Someone with an eye for pacing and character issues. Would also be thrilled to find someone who loves digging into the logic/rules that govern systems of magic or fantasy. I’ll never say no to an accountability partner, either. :) I’ve been working on this project for years (thanks to a demanding/joy-sucking day job), and my writing time ebbs and flows. When it ebbs for too long, that’s when it really helps to have an accountability partner.
What I’m not looking for: Cheerleading, copyedits, proofreading. Asking for and receiving feedback on my writing is part of my day job, plus this manuscript’s been through several revs and readers already, so I'm comfortable with straightforward feedback. As a former editor, I'm ruthless at cutting so that's also not a priority need.
We might be a good fit if you: Prefer working on clean, later-stage drafts; give editorial-style feedback rather than cheerleader-style notes; prefer when writers provide guidance/questions to keep in mind with their pages; will have time to read the full later this year instead of now — think summer or even fall; enjoy immersive settings, plucky heroines, and strong female friendships.
MG Fantasy, 55-60k
Hey everyone! Looking for a CP to swap for a mythology-infused, middle grade fantasy set in ancient Finland.
Quick pitch: When a young shaman-in-training’s village is cursed by the death gods, she hunts for answers, encountering eclectic allies, undead monsters, and the unsettling possibility of her connection to the underworld.
I’ve been on and off in the query game for a couple years now with a few other MS’s on the shelf and in the works. It’d be really cool to find a beta reading buddy who’s also serious about getting published and can analyze story with an editorial eye. (No need to be a pro though—neither am I!) Brainstorming and bouncing ideas off each other would also be cool.
That being said, I’d also be open to finding a cheerleader/accountability partner as I’ve never tried that and it sounds fun.
Either way, drop me a note if you’re down!
Hey, Diane here, looking for critique partners for the second draft of my YA fantasy novel, complete around 78k words.
Pitch:
Umai is the seventeen-year-old heir to the throne of the proud, but dying country of Pegasia. It is still three years before she comes of age and becomes the queen, but she is ready to restore the land of the legendary Pegasus riders to its former glory.
Pegasia is poor, wars are expensive, and to wage one she is required to make not-so-honorable moves. First, she forces the uncle she loves dearly to step down from regency. Next, with the help of her only spy among the enemy, Sybil, she kidnaps Kedrick, a foreign highborn weakling with a heart of gold. Lucien, a personal guard to Kedrick, also finds himself in the Pegasian dungeons with the young lord he was once best friends with, but now despises to serve.
Themes and tropes: Teenage romance, enemies-to-lovers, disabled or neurodiverse POV characters, lots of allegories about exploitation of natural resources, slavery.
I'm not a published author yet, and please keep in mind English is not my native language. So, while I'd love to help you with dialogues, characterization, and plot, I might not be the most reliable help on grammar.
hi Kelly, sure lets share first chapter. K
Hello everyone :)
Here's my book
POD (CODE NAME FOR NOW)
Folklore fantasy (it has a strong presence of Scottish folklore)
Young adult (i see it like Heartstopper meets The spiderwick chronicles)
108k words
I'm looking for someone to give me a feedback from a reader vision. Does the story work? Is it fast or slow? This kind of things :)
Sounds good. Message me then :) Good luck
The Guardian.
Fantasy, romance subplot with nature-driven powers.
YA/Adult, 2 opposing protagonists.
107,000 words.
Looking for someone with a critical eye and a love for ruthless female protagonists.
Anyone writing or reading Fairy Tale Retellings?
Hi all I am so excited this is going on... thank you again Susan!
So here is my pitch: Regency Bath, witches and werewolves battle it out as two old lovers struggle to figure out if they have a future, while a forgotten goddess pulls the strings.
I'm looking for crit partners and too, accountability partners to keep me enthused through the slog of a revision.
title The Wolves of Bath
Word count 120,000
Adult
Hello, I'm Charlotte!
Working Title: Phantom
Genre: YA fantasy with a helping of adventure and romance. Think Caraval meets a necromantic Phantom of the Opera.
Reading level: YA
Word Count: 90-100k (reworking the ending atm)
What I'm looking for in feedback: Where is it boring/confusing? Where is it working? I want to get a sense of general reader reactions :)
I would LOVE a critique partner who has already finished writing multiple books, but anyone who enjoys YA fantasy could be a good fit! Fantasy is my comfort-food genre (Brandon Sanderson, Naomi Novik, Stephanie Garber, Holly Black, Susan Dennard) , but I also enjoy urban fantasy, SF, mystery, and MG.
Hello! So excited about finding readers. Writing and submitting without beta readers is... scary, lonely, and all kinds of anxiety producing crud.
SHADOW BORN -- MG Fantasy (portal, ensemble); 90, 000 words
Shadow Born is complete with many many drafts behind it. I'm sending it out soon but I want to know if the opening 10 or 20 pages would hook a reader, inspire them to want to read more. I'm looking to trade opening pages to see if I can help with someone else's MS and they could take a look at my pages.
SHADOW BORN ... pitch:
When fourteen-year-old Balthazar runs track for the first time ever, smashing every record ever set, he attracts the attention of media, university scouts and the Emperor Grymick, who’s been searching for him for over a decade.
After surviving the Emperor’s assassin, Balthazar is thrust into Grymik where his real father is imprisoned in the Emperor’s dungeon … and spies, assassins and warriors lie in wait for the hero destined to lead the next rebellion.
Balthazar isn’t interested in rebellion and he doesn’t believe in destiny. He just wants to meet (maybe rescue) his real father. The legendary leader of the first rebellion against the Emperor. Balthazar tears across the realm, dodging spies and assassins to assemble a dungeon rescue team: the others prophesied to end the Emperor’s rule: An enigmatic huntress, a swaggering daredevil, a hulking warrior, a deadly princess, and a spy.
To survive the dungeon Balthazar must embrace the destiny he denies, and the courage he doesn’t believe he has. And fight: For the best friends he ever had. The only family he has left. And the people of Grymik, living under the hobnailed boot of the Emperor.
Cool way to connect ppl! Thx for this!
FIRST FIRE
MG fantasy
50k-65k
Quick Pitch: Ilk — a 12-yr-old Forest Folk — is gifted with a fiery power his people fear, but when starving Bears threaten Ilk’s home, he must find a way to use his fire to save his only friend and restore balance to the forest.
What I am looking for:
I am in the midst of a major overhaul on my 1st draft. Much is written but much is a mess! Looking for CPs who can see the gems buried in the mud as well as help me weed out the parts that just are not 2nd draft material.
Overall, I am looking to find fantasy enthusiasts who can read and review the balance I am trying to strike between world building, magic systems, character and plot. I want to know where you struggle and where the story flows off the page and into your imagination.
Title: The Fawn and the Viper
Genre: Fantasy, romance
Reading level: adult
Word count: 65k possibly more
First draft still writing. Looking for someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to just talk to about plot and next steps in publishing. Beta reading and giving feedback. Will also do the same for you.
Hi, I’m Kristin!
I’m currently transcribing/revising my MG fantasy/adventure draft and am looking for someone who can give me notes on the overall tone, plot and characters. Making sure they flow and it isn’t just a hot mess.
Working title: Caldwell’s Curious Curiosities
Genre: Fantasy/adventure
Reading level: MG
Work in progress Pitch: Lucas Ward is no stranger to the strange and unusual. Not when he has grown up in the foster system and has seen some pretty unusual things. But when he is suspended from school for getting into a fight and then chased into the woods by his arch nemisis, he realizes that all of the strange and unusual things he has seen, don’t hold a candle to Caldwell’s Curiosities.
Stumbling into a new world where cats talk, dragons come in miniature and magic abounds, he is thrown into a quest that he is sure will get him killed. With the crew of the Harbinger, including Redbeard, a not so Pirate, and Piper, a pink haired fire catcher, he will have to use his brains to help them find the Isle of Mist, where a rare firebird resides and a prophecy lies waiting, just for him.
Hi, I'm Kara (she/her)!
I'm almost finished with the first draft of my adult high fantasy/portal fantasy and looking for cheerleaders and beta readers who can give notes on plot, structure and tone.
WORKING TITLE: Cry of the Wraith
GENRE: High Fantasy
READING LEVEL: Adult/NA
WORDCOUNT: Will be around 170k
PITCH: Book one in a planned series, CRY OF THE WRAITH follows two characters; Kassia, a murdered woman from Earth who is reborn in a world far from our own and forfeits her place amongst the blessed to become a Wraith, a Reaper with magic, in return for hunting down those who killed her and Vanora, a noblewoman with a secret that people could kill for who leaves her kingdom for the first time in search of the only thing that could save her dying father.
But a King made of shadows hunts them both, and they will both come to discover that their magic is more connected to their world than they know.
Hi, I'm Nour (she/her)! I'm currently in the home stretch of the first draft of my MG fantasy novel and I'm looking for betas who can be as critical as possible about the plot, characters, and tone. It's very Harry Potter-esque, except it's a bit of a subversion of the genre. It's still a WiP so I'm not sure what the total word count will be, but as of now it's pushing 140k.
GENRE: FANTASY/ADVENTURE
READING LEVEL: Middle Grade- YA (its a bit hard to put a finger on)
WORDCOUNT: 140k~
PITCH: THE NAUTILUS PATH tells the story of four kids - Kat, a shy girl who hates confrontation, Max, a sarcastic brainiac with big dreams,Terry, a clumsy troublemaker with a horrible secret, and Marcus, a boy who seemingly has it all - who discover that they are Shifters, humans with the ability to "Shift" into animal forms. They are whisked away to the isolated, mysterious place called the New School and introduced to the complicated society of Shifters, but soon they begin to discover that their new lives are more difficult -and dangerous- than they seem.
I'd love to read any science fiction or fantasy stories, for any age! I'm good at critiquing plot, worldbuilding, character development- if you want brutal honesty, I'm your girl (I can be a cheerleader too though haha)
Hi, I'm Lou (She/her)! I'm currently revising my literary thriller adult novel and am looking for betas who can read it in a month or so. I like to describe my novel as Emma Cline's THE GIRLS meets FIGHT CLUB but with chronically online fangirls. Set in the early 2010s, during the nascent days of social media as we know it today, it follows Hero Miller, a teen boy who is discovered and put into a boy band after his infamous escape from captivity projects his dreamy baby face on millions of TVs all over the country; and Lupe, the cancer-ridden, depressed teen girl who joins a group of overzealous fans willing to do anything for the boy that has quickly become their beacon of hope.
GENRE: LITERARY/UPMARKET THRILLER
READING LEVEL: ADULT
WORDCOUNT: 100k
I'm only willing to read adult novels. I'm mostly familiar with literary, upmarket, romance, and thrillers. I don't read a lot of sci-fi or fantasy, but I'd be willing to, just be aware of my lack of expertise. Would love to discuss and possibly exchange a few chapters if any of you are interested!
Looking for beta feedback both on my murder mystery novel (100k) and contemporary romance (still WIP, expected 90k).
Here’s the murder mystery pitch
THE COLOR SHE BLEEDS (99,500 words) is a murder mystery for fans of the amateur sleuth in Still Lives, the dark academia of In My Dreams I Hold a Knife, and the rich historical setting and characterization of Summer of ‘69. Set at Scripps Women’s College in LA in the spring of 1968, Julie, a first-generation student raised by a single mother, had always followed the university’s antiquated rules — until she fell for Heather. But three months into their whirlwind affair, Heather gets engaged to the boyfriend Julie thought she was about to dump. Reeling from the news, Julie searches to confront her — only to find Heather dead at the bottom of the stairs to their dorm's basement.
Broken-hearted, Julie learns that someone had reported their relationship to the Dean, making her a key suspect in the murder. To prove her innocence and understand why Heather betrayed her, Julie tells friends Lynne and Kathleen about her relationship and the trio set out on their own investigation. They realize Julie wasn’t the only secret Heather had been keeping: from Kathleen’s rushed abortion to the marital troubles of Scripps’s president, Heather had been the confidant of countless campus scandals. Julie must learn who she can trust as she tries to discover which of Heather’s secrets someone at Scripps would have killed to keep quiet.
Title: Sisters of the Ceto Sea
Genre: Multi-POV Fantasy adventure with humor and romance subplots
Reading level: Adult
Word count: 160,000ish
What I’m looking for in a reader: I’m just about finished with my 5th (ish) draft and looking for someone to offer some big picture feedback (character arcs, pacing, worldbuilding, etc.) as well as just generally what’s working/not working. I’d like to get it ready to start querying before the end of summer so having someone to be an accountability partner and cheerleader would also just be really great.
About: When three estranged sisters learn their deadbeat pirate dad isn’t as dead as they thought, they’re forced to journey together to restore him to life, partnering with necromancers, terrible bounty-hunter co-workers, and a sea siren that one of them will do anything to escape.
Working Title: Cage of Magic
Genre: high fantasy
Reading Level: YA
Word count: approx. 100,000
What I’m looking for: I would love a second opinion and notes on the story but am also open to just being an accountability partner and having somebody to share my work in and be supportive without being as critical
Quick pitch: Khaliun Zalkarov has forgotten what the world outside is like, but she does remember the betrayal that left her imprisoned in an iron tower amidst the Golden Sea. When an encounter with an old friend presents her with the opportunity to escape, she faces the choice of wether to leave behind the horrific power that haunts her or use it to avenge the person she loves most. Outside of Valterra, worlds are converging, and a war may break out on a scale the Known World had never seen before.
Tropes: revenge, conflict of interests, found family, fantastical creatures, emotion-based magic system, nautical fantasy, military fantasy, political fantasy
*I am a newer writer and not published
Genre: Modern fantasy and sci fi fantasy
Reading level: YA and adult, slightly dark
What I'm looking for: I am really looking for an accountability partner and occasional reader. Most of what I am currently working on are short stories, comic strips and a few animation scripts. Would love input on the story, if it can be understood and character voice. I would love to read other peoples work! Character development/ backstory, story themes and world building are my strengths, and heads up I ask a lot of questions.
Inspirations: Spirited away, saga, Gravity falls, over the garden wall.
Vibe check: Magic, mystery, oddities and occasionally death.
Oooh how exciting!
Working Title: Blessings
Genre: High fantasy with a romantic sub-plot
Reading level: YA or Upper YA
Word Count: ~100k (but with a middle chunk missing because of rewrites)
What I'm looking for in a reader: someone who can tell me if my story structure is working. I'm specifically worried about pacing (rushing through events), character development, and whether you can actually SEE the things I'm trying to write.
Here's a really, really condensed version of what this is about...
The story follows Verala, a Blessed warrior of the Deity of Order and the cousin of Divi: the deity's heiress. Verala has always been close with her cousin, and despite Community disapproval, is determined to remain so until Divi’s Ascension in a year’s time. However, those plans fall apart when Verala is thrust back to a part of her life she never wanted to revisit and is forced to face a former friend she never wanted to see again. What follows is a series of troubling events, culminating in Verala’s discovery of a terrible secret — but with her reputation in tatters, her unfounded warnings might fall on deaf ears.
What I can help with: I'm good at helping with the broad strokes - character flaws/motivations, plotting, consistency, etc. and if ever you want to make something in the plot hurt more, apparently I'm good at that, too. I can also zero in on scenes that are a concern if needed and can help with flow issues :)
Title: Bailey Banks Bridesmaids Business
Genre: Contemporary Rom Com
Subgenre: New Adult/ Adult, LGBT
Word Count: currently sitting around 65k
My ‘lil’ pitch: Twenty -five year old Bailey Banks moonlights as a Bridesmaid for Hire to pay off her student loans. But when her aloof coworker Evelyn Sinclair finds her advertisement and wants to hire her, Bailey might have finally met her match. She may be in the business of crafting Happily Ever Afters, but how can you help someone who loathes the institution of marriage? As the wedding approaches and secrets are revealed, Bailey is determined to get Evelyn her happily ever after, even it means jeopardizing her own heart.
What I’m looking for: First and foremost I’d love honest feedback and thoughts about my WIP. I also would like to know if the comedic beats are actually funny and some help focusing in on the emotional tension of the story.
I cannot wait to meet and connect with new writing buddies! ☺️
Title: The Solace of Shadows
Genre: Adult Fantasy (possibly dark fantasy? I'm not sure)
Reading level: Adult or NA
Word count: over 140,000
What I'm looking for in a reader: My first draft is complete and I'm looking for someone to give me constructive feedback. Honestly, I'm looking for a writing buddy. I'm more than happy to swap chapters and have discussions about them!
A little about TSOS: It's written in 1st person POV from two FMCs. One is an "Undesirable" commoner who is taken from her home and the other is the princess who she's forced to work for. They both have a common love for a book of folklore and fairytales - That book may or may not hold some terrifying truths about their own fates and the fate of the kingdom. (I'm aware this synopsis is terrible but that's the gist! lol)
Content warnings: infant death, violence, child abandonment, torture, unmanaged mental illness, sensual and mild sexual content (nothing explicit in the first book), parental loss, terminal illness, and suicidal ideation.
I'm looking forward to connecting with someone!
Title: Through the mangroves
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Subgenres: West African Mythology and folklore, Mystery, Crime
Reading level: Adult
Word count: Currently 75652 but might end up longer as I'm doing my final round of edits and fleshing out the story
Trigger warnings: There are some tough themes being explored here, like SA, parental abuse, drug use, alcohol use, suicidal thoughts and ideation, threatened child harm (doesn't happen), gore, and others I probably haven't identified yet. Plus I try my best to write around said issues rather than 'glorify' said issues.
Inspirations: The mortal Instruments by Cassandre Clare, ShantyTown on Netflix, Manacled by Senliyu, Papa Midnite (DC comics), Constantine (DC comics, movie and that short lived but highly entertaining TV series), American Horror story: Coven etc.
Tropes: Found family, Betrayal, very loose Hades and Persephone retelling, almost lovers to enemies and back again, descent into madness, we're all villains here, kidnapped, African folklore and mythology etc.
Backstory: Pamela was a women's rights activist and IT girl extraordinaire disconnected from the world against her will. Her family had ensured that news of what happened to her didn't get to the media. Locked up, lied against, her life stolen to appease a family curse.
In an effort to escape her fate, she attempted to broadcast the details of her situation. However, the story was reedited and managed and she found out just how little and insignificant she really was. How powerless.
To restore her standing with the family, it was agreed upon that she should apologise for revealing the secret, completely recant her words, lie about why she would make up such a secret and blame herself for it that such a thing had ever crossed her mind.
But she had a plan to run away, use her own money to leave, potentially hide out with her mother's family before fleeing the country. However she was caught at the bus station by the enemy's men, blindfolded and taken to a strange house. There, the men held her down while the enemy injected liquid madness into her.
She woke up a year later, but it could have been a century, for time had no meaning in the dark, gray place. Her entire being a speck of dust, the rest of her was rage, a red purple mass of churning inferno that resembled bruised flesh and blood. But she was, most importantly, a coward. Threats were made, former allies had been punished severely and she was too weak to fight back, too afraid to die.
But out of madness, born of the improbable mix of rage, cowardice and something else came a gift, a door, a way out, out of feelings she didn't want, actions she couldn't control, out of the body turned cage, a body she wasn't entirely sure was hers and into another's.
She could leave her body and return to it at will.
What I am looking for: A brutally honest cheerleader, a thorough editorial pass and someone who can keep me honest and motivated. I'm close to working on querying as well. What I really need is a critique partner who is brutally honest yet constructive and somehow nice about it, who can go through my work with a fine-toothed comb, looking for weak spots, inconsistencies. I really need a consistent writing buddy especially someone who also has a WIP ready to show to others as well.
Title: Entangled Blade
Reading level: Adult
Genre: Multi- POV fantasy with sapphic romance as subplot
Word Count: 92k
What I am looking for: I'm mainly looking for help with my query package, but would be happy to swap chapters.
About: Entela had no desire to follow in her mother and brother’s footsteps and join an organisation of monster slayers known as the Cleaver Guild. But when she instinctively uses her sword to slay the monsters that interrupted her sword swallowing performance with the circus, becoming a Cleaver seems inevitable.
One of her first contracts with the Guild is to investigate a sinister plant infestation threatening an elven city. As she and the beautiful, yet mysterious elven archivist Merideth Dileian get to the root of the botanical problem, Entela discovers that the definition of "monster" is ambiguous and equivocal. Especially as she revisits the reasons she didn't want to become a Cleaver in the first place.
Title: Publishing murder mystery and/or YA historical fantasy - will need readers for both!
Genre: Either murder mystery or fantasy
Reading level: adult/YA
Word count: c.80-100k
What I'm looking for: I'm always keen to meet new writing buddies! I prefer to share chapters to start with and see if we're a good match. I enjoy YA and adult fantasy (towards the literary rather than commercial end), sci fi, crime, romance, and historical. I'm agented and pretty serious about my craft, have 6 completed MS. My strengths as a critique partner are plot and world-building. Currently drafting (fairly quickly) the murder mystery, so ideally someone who I can exchange a few chapters with and then swop a full MS later this year. YA historical will be next (I have a draft but its SO rough it needs me to sort it out before I can share with betas).
Publishing murder mystery is what it says on the box: think Notting Hill meets Agatha Christie. Pitch: After a one night stand with a popular male author, Cecil finds herself in the frame for his murder and decides to discover the real truth.
YA fantasy is about a monster-hunting princess and a prince who transforms into a seamonster who enter a marriage of convenience. But it has lots of literary/Roman history so think Lucy Holland's Sistersong meets Alchemy of Souls kdrama meets Beowulf.
Title: Dead 13 (Found Family X The Ruin of Kings X Foundryside)
Genre: Fantasy (Epic)
Reading Level: Adult
Word Count 130,000
Premise: The Thirteen gods, weary of eternity, divided humanity into the divine races and accidentally unleashed soul-devouring fiends on mortals. Echo has vowed to free herself of her own parasite, going so far to travel to the ends of the world for a cure. But a chance encounter with a long-lost friend thrusts her back into a world of duty she thought she'd escaped.
Reader: This project just needs someone who likes fantasy to give me an idea if its working or not. A little bit of cheerleading and a lit bit of flagging where my pacing/character development is too slow. This is also nearly ready to query and so I'm looking to swap query packages here in the next few weeks.
Title: Tomorrow's Plague
Genre: scifi thriller
Reading level: YA/Upper YA
Word count: 100k
What I'm looking for in a reader: a gut check that's also an editorial pass or something like that. I want to add more interiority to the story, and I need more eyes to figure out where the story needs. I'm also looking for places to cut/condense words
General plot info: Budding epidemiologist and chemist Ryder Canton dies in a car crash. Three hundred years later, he wakes up to a world that's been ravaged by disease. As he's trying to adjust to his new life, new outbreaks strike NYC where he lives, and he investigates them as a distraction at first. But when an outbreak claims the lives of two of his old friends, he realizes the outbreaks aren't natural, and he throws himself into his investigation. Before long, he realizes he's in over his head. If he's not careful, he may end up the next victim.
Title: The Executioner's Daughter
Genre: Fantasy Romance
Reading level: Adult
Word count: 270795
About: (Basic) Feared and despised, Enid fights her inherent empathy -- striving to become the fearless executioner her forefathers would be proud of. But her careful plan to prove herself capable goes awry when her kingdom's beloved prince is convicted of treason against his brother the king, and she can't bring herself to kill.
What I'm looking for: A cheerleader/editorial partner at a similar stage as me. The book is complete, but I need to cut down on word count, so anyone who could help with that specificly. I'm also working on my query letter.
Title: WOF (witchy Sky in the Deep)
Genre: witchy contemporary fantasy with romance subplot
Reading level: New Adult-ish
Word count: ~90k (two chapters into a big revision)
Basic premise: When a witch is kidnapped by a rival coven, she must find allies and use her skills to defeat their common enemy, a creature killing young witches.
What you’re looking for in a reader: quick gut check, accountability partner, etc. I'm always searching for writing buddies in general, but for this story specifically, I'm diving into a major revision and feeling a bit overwhelmed. I would be looking for someone who can be a cheerleader and help keep me on track, but who also has an eye for story and can help me identify and fix weak spots.
Title: Mech-witch project, Iron Widow meets the magic of the Spellsong Cycle (Sonata Code, working title)
Genre: Science fiction/Fantasy
Reading level: Adult
Word count: 81k
What I'm looking for: A gut check, an editorial pass, something in between? I would at least like to add another 5-9k and need some eyes to help me find places to expand.
Vibes: Mech-driver Aria lives on a desolate planet where crystals are used for their resonant magic. When she is forced to accept the Chosen One in her squad, she must accept her role as "support." But when the Chosen One dies, and Aria’s to blame, she must find a way to protect her squad and what’s left of her family from storms that open rifts to another wold and release metal eldritch monsters which continue to ravage the planet.
Oh man, I've been so scared of moving to this part.
Title (or working title, code name! Just something for easy reference): The Atlas Archive
Genre (e.g. fantasy, mystery, romance—get specific, if you can, with subgeneres too): YA scifi
Reading level (e.g. adult, YA, MG): YA
Word count: ~80k
What you’re looking for in a reader (e.g. a quick gut check, a thorough editorial pass, a cheerleader to read as you write): Gut checks, a soundboard buddy to go through logic/consistency issues, co-working buddies, accountability buddies, a sanity saver, haha. I'm in the middle of a total overhaul/rework after I noticed some things I wanted to change so it's a WIP right now.
General plot info: Vesper is given a mission by her brother who abandoned her on a trading port and disappeared, foisting her off into the hands of their droid companion, Atlas. What’s the mission exactly? That’s what she would like to know. Coordinates are regularly sent to her transmitter with instructions GO HERE and nothing else. She keeps visiting these locations hoping to find her brother. Instead, she stumbles onto a galactic scandal and works together with a misfit crew of tagalongs to bring it to light.
Vibes: found family, we all have abandonment issues, know thyself, ride or die sibling dynamics, maybe the real #aesthetic is the friends we made along the way, technology and advancement are neutral until wielded by one who brings intention to them, let it GOOOOOOO, let it GOOOOO!, misfit crew hijinks ensue, one entity makes all the difference in some cases
How I critique: I really enjoy developmental editing (so overall looking at plot and consistency), but I've also done line editing, beta reading, and a few reader reports. I let people know what I like and what doesn't quite work for me and where things are too thin or thick.
Am happy to chat via Discord or email or however you'd like to communicate. Thank you!
This is amazing!
It's also a bit nerve-wrecking, as I've never done this before, so here it goes:
Title: Of Dragons and Storms
Genre: Multi-POV Fantasy
Reading level: YA
Word count: 96k (after extensive editing)
What if dragons just up and vanished one day, leaving only embers of their magic in their wake? 17-year-old Briar is one of those embers, one of only seven people born with magic in her veins. And she is more than determined to snuff out her legendary magic once and for all.
I'm in the final stages of editing out my manuscript and in the early stages of writing my query letter and synopsis. I'd love to meet some people who can provide feedback on both query pieces and have some tips and tricks on that front!
I'd also love to help out fellow writers with critiquing; think things like overall pacing, plot holes, character development, and cutting down word count.
If anyone's interested, let me know! :)
Title: Arise Warrior ( Temporary)
Reading level: Upper YA
Genre: Multi- POV Fantasy with Romance as subplot
Word Count: 55k and more since I deleted the last part of Act2 and Act 3 completely and rewriting it at the moment.
What I am looking for: I am looking for someone who can help go through my book and see if it is structured in a way that appeal the readers and hopefully an agent. I need someone to walk with me through the developmental editing process and help me to make the book sparkle enough. I want someone to help me through the editorial part as well and I am willing to do the same. It would be great if we can set up a deadline with each other and be a cheerleader and motivation to keep going forward till the finish line.
Title: The Duffy Sisters in the Way Back
Genre: Contemporary/ funny
Reading level: Upper MG
Word count: 50k
What you’re looking for in a reader: Gut check, initial check for major plot holes
The Duffy Sisters is National Lampoons Vacation meets RV for kids. It's a road trip/family drama story that has the family minivan breaking down in California after a week vacation/college visit. There are no rental cars available, money is tight, family tensions are high, and the family has to rent a U-Haul to get home to Pennsylvania (based on a true story!)
This is a first draft that I'm revising chapter by chapter. I'd love to have a reader to check in with every week or two, exchanging 1-2 chapters, looking for major plot holes, ways to tighten up writing, point out where I'm telling when I could be showing, etc. I had a wonderful CP for several years who passed away from cancer last summer and I'm ready to get vulnerable with someone new. Ideally, I'd love to find someone who is willing to continue working together on projects for awhile so we can really dig into each other's writing styles and ultimately become each other's cheerleaders. I don't love science fiction or high fantasy, so I wouldn't be the best choice for those kinds of books. However, i do write MG and YA, so I'm happy to partner with someone who writes either. Thanks!
This is wonderful, thanks Susan! I can't wait to connect with some awesome CPs.
Title: Heir of Ruin (The Wordwalker, book 1 of 3) – INKHEART x ACOMAF (but less spicy)
Genre: Multi-POV Fantasy with Romance (low-spice)
Reading level: New Adult
Word count: currently ~101k
Vibe check: book-within-a-book, medieval-esque setting, all the magic, prophecies, spies, deep world history, love vs. duty
What I'm looking for: I hope to work with CPs who are craft-focused and can help me find plotholes, areas of confusion, and character decisions that might seem off. I'd love to work with people who can provide critique from a high-concept, "is this plot working" level and then can dig into scene-by-scene improvements at a later time. I really want to make this manuscript sparkle so please tell me what's working but don't be shy with what isn't.
How I critique: I aim to highlight what sparkles while also being very direct about what doesn't. I can help with high concept, structural changes as well as line edits and copyedits (so let me know what stage you're at!).
Book pitch:
An expedition to the Ruin of Doraja is the last piece Galen needs to become a world-renowned scholar. What he finds—a magic book with a vengeful narrator, a world frozen in time, a stony Queen who wants him dead—might make him famous, or cause him to lose himself completely.
Wow Susan, thank you for this gift! Hi everyone... I'm looking for a crit partner too!
Title - The Cat Walks Alone
Genre - science fiction (soft)
Reading level - adult
Word count -128,000
What you’re looking for in a reader- a cheerleader to keep me enthusiastic through the revision process, and a sharp mind who might see holes in my story that I have missed (but I don't need a copy editor).
My first adventure in revising a novel - turns out writing is easy, revision not. This book follows the far future adventures of an itinerant monk who's not as stable in their practice as they thought, and while catching a ride on a passing spaceship are forced to face a past they wanted to forget.
I'm looking forward to hopefully working with someone!
Title: A Boy Caught Between Gods
Genre: High Fantasy
Level: YA
Word count: 100k
I'd love to find someone who enjoys the opening chapters enough to read the rest and provide constructive criticism and cheerleader comments on any and everything they can think of. I'd also appreciate working with someone who could keep me accountable with deadlines and would like to keep working together in the future.
Here is the synopsis I have: Colm Stolli’s life has been consumed by winter. Snow and ice have ruled since before he was born—freezing every lake, river, and harbor in Aberdeen. Colm’s country has been fighting a civil war for centuries. The reigning monarch, Queen Marsia Allata, and her ancestors, are blessed with summer magic, but it is not strong enough to balance the winter magic in Venaress Moroz, who is waging war to reclaim her family’s throne.
Colm struggles everyday to help his family survive. But when he discovers a dark secret Venaress and her forces do not want Queen Marsia to learn, his life is upended after a deadly confrontation. Forced to abandon his home with his younger sister, Colm learns the world is much larger and complicated than what he has known his entire life. But one thing is still clear: In winter, anyone can die.
And content warnings: fantasy violence, gore, suicide, emotional trauma, depression, death.
Thanks!
-TITLE Northwest Passage
-GENRE narrative video game (anyone else here writing something like this?); musical historical fiction
-READING LEVEL adult
-WORD COUNT eternally expanding
-WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR someone who is up for co-working over Zoom or similar; would love to have a friend who I can cheer on and vice versa
Let's give it a go!
Title: "X-Men" meets "Game of Thrones"
Genre: Futuristic fantasy
Level: Adult
Wordcount: 134k (yes, it needs to be edited down)
What I'm looking for in a reader: Honest feedback about what is and isn't working, but not solely critique. I need to know what I'm doing right too, not just what I'm doing wrong lol. So, constructive criticism and cheerleader combined.
What I'm like as a critique partner: I do critiques with compliment sandwiches because that generally works best for both encouragement and pointing out what could use improvement, and that's what is best for me, too. I frame the "issues" I see as suggestions rather than hard and fast "you MUST change this", because I understand that everyone has different tastes. Just because it doesn't work for me doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.
Woohoo! I'm looking for literary friends working on ambitious high-concept fiction to build our craft together, especially with world-building.
Title: Sister Earth
Genre: Speculative (mystical, far-future)
Reading level: Adult
Word count: 65k
What you’re looking for in a reader: For now, a swap of the first 10 pages. I've started querying this one. I also have short stories in progress, and a rewrite of an earlier novel, a mystical climate change dystopia.
Thank you, Susan, for running this amazing meet-up once again. You are the best!
Title: A Kingdom of Secrets & Sacrifice
Genre: Sci Fi / Urbani Fantasy
Reading Level: YA
Word Count: ~90K
I've got 2 novels published in the UK but am struggling to get this one agented, so I think my opening needs to be strengthened.
I'll pop a few paragraphs straight up here, so you can get a feel if it's something that might interest you. Then let me know what you've got and hopefully we're a match.
By the time the Greyhound rumbled toward the brightening glow of my hometown’s skyline, the once soothing engine had morphed into a jarring irritation. A bubbling rush of excitement surged in my chest. Mom, Dad, and Tommy would for sure be waiting, and I could practically sense their eager anticipation and feel them flinging their arms around me.
Yet, a creeping unease replaced my warmth and prickling hairs danced across my forearms. Despite my attempts to dismiss the unease as my overactive imagination the feeling gnawed at my consciousness. As the bus slowed to a crawl then veered into the station, a near tangible urgency sparked in my veins, and I found myself scraping beads of sweat from my forehead as I scanned the lot. At the far end, an electric vibration hummed. A streetlamp flickered and burst into brilliant life. Within its glowing yellow circle, a shadowed humanoid form stood, scrutinizing the back of the bus—where I sat. Our eyes connected and held for a beat before it shrank back behind the post.
Unconsciously, my fingers found Gramma’s locket and traced its rough surface. For some reason, her premonition rose in my mind. It brought a lump to my throat. She’d disappeared five years ago, stolen by her gift, and now it seemed to be enticing me to lose myself to its unwanted revelations.