Audio: The Benefits of Failure

Also, how I expected it would feel to be "famous" versus the reality

Baby Author Sooz in 2010 and Wise Author Sooz in 2024!

For more on this particular subject, check out these posts:

What I Would Do Differently With a Career Do-Over

Redefining What Success Looks Like

Thanks for listening! Leave comment letting me know what you think of the audio format—or if you have any ideas for what I can call these audio snippets…

Also, as I say in the recording at the end: there is no editing, no filtering, no re-recording here—and I even opted to do this when I literally have a weak voice from asthma and just got an appliance put in that gives me a lisp!

In other words, Peak Sooz. Peak “Radical Transparency.”

Enjoy! 😘

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Transcript:

Hey guys, Susan Dennard here. As you can probably tell—actually, no, maybe not. If you've never heard me speak before, I have lost my voice because I've had some pretty bad asthma lately and been coughing a lot. And then on top of that, I have an appliance in my mouth now that gives me a bit of a lisp.

So, hi, I'm Sooz! I picked a great time to start experimenting with this new format. But I thought maybe voice would be easier because I am trying to save time, but I don’t want to eliminate the Substack. And I don’t want to eliminate the writing advice that I've been doing for so long now. 14 years?

No. 15. Oh, my gosh, 15 years. Holy smokes.

So I, yeah. Here I am: trying to record and see if this is easier. Plus, I know we live in a world…we live in an age where most people consume content now by listening. So why not? Why not cater to those of you, like me, who like to listen, instead of read. (Although I have to be honest, I'm still such a visual learner that I do like when there’s an audio option; I will use it. But I will also rely on a transcript if such a thing exists. And so I will also be doing transcripts. But please note they are they are created with technology and may not be totally accurate.)

Now moving on. (CLAP!) We are going to start this first recording with a question from a reader. Here we go.

So this question comes over from my

The Worlds of Susan Dennard

newsletter. But since it's kind of writing-related, I thought I would answer it here. It is from Joshie.

Hi, Sooz. What are the biggest differences you found between your early expectations of becoming a famous author and the reality of becoming a famous author? What's been better than you expected? And what's been worse? And if you could go back in time? How would you better prepare yourself for these realities?

Well, Joshie, first of all, I’m not a famous author. I hate to break it to you. And I mean, look, I’m grateful that you think of me that way. And that you see me in that way because I…I would say, you know, I'm like a, I don't know, an H-level, celebrity—“celebrity” being in quotes—because I just, I'm just a person. I don't actually sell that many books.

I mean, certainly I sell well, and that was not meant to be a complaint. But I am not a household name. I am not even close to being a household name. I'm not even, like, a household bookseller kind of name. Like, I bet most booksellers don't know who I am. I bet most librarians have no idea who I am. Certainly most readers have no idea who I am.

And so, yeah, I certainly have readers like you, and fans who come to my events and cosplay and whatnot, and make awesome fan art. But I would not call myself famous. And so I would say that’s one of the first gaps, right? Between really expectations and the reality.

Most of us who are authors, most people have no idea who we are. And maybe they’ll Google you if they're curious. But most people aren't even that impressed that you’re an author. And I find because there are so many authors out there being one more author, it’s just not…there’s there’s no standing out in the crowd, so to speak. Now, certainly some people you know, like I’ll meet a doctor, who—I mean, to be honest, I usually avoid saying what to do.

But if they get nosy and it comes out, sometimes people will be impressed and Google me or ask what it’s like. And they assume that, you know, because I’m a bestseller, I must have heaps of money and a private yacht. Or because I am a published author who writes full time, that I must have such a leisurely day. And I do nothing but sit all day and muse and stare and await inspiration. And of course, all of these are the glamorized versions of author hood that we see online and in media, like movies, and well, not books. (And I say that because most authors of course, know the realities. So they don't tend to transfer that romantic notion onto the page.)

But we see it in film, we see it in TV. One of my most, like, recently, there was a show I was binging called AP Bio. And I was so annoyed because somehow the character ghostwrote a thriller novel in a night. He wrote the whole thing in the night. You can't even type that fast, okay, you guys? Like I don’t care how fast you can write, you cannot type 50,000 words plus in the night.

I always laugh too, because whenever people have printed manuscripts on TV or in film, and they slam it onto the to the desk, it’s so thin. Like an actual printed manuscript is so many pages—it’s very thick. And whenever they do that I'm like, “That is not a book that has maybe a script.”

But yes, back to your question: I would say the biggest differences that I’m not actually famous. I am doing well and I have been able to, very fortunately, in recent years (not initially but in recent years) sustain myself with my writing. And continue to write what I want to write.

And my publisher has been kind enough to accommodate that and meet me through some tough times in my life as I have gotten further and further behind with the writing, and the editing. So I am very lucky in that regard. And I know that I am.

But yes, I am still just one more author out of many, many, many. And, of course, in today’s world with indie publishing (which is a perfectly valid route, of course, to get your books out there), there are even more authors. Since you know, it’s as…I don’t want to say easy, but it is literally—if you’re really going to do the bare minimum—as easy as just uploading your book onto Amazon. Of course, most indie authors work much harder than that, and do all of the things that I have a team to do for me.

So yeah, that's been the biggest thing: I’m not famous. I'm a nobody. I am one more person toiling away, every day trying to write the best thing I can and meet the expectations of my readers and my publisher—and myself as well, because I set very high expectations for my own work.

And I think if I could go back in time and talk to debut Sooz, who was living in rural rural Germany at the time, I would explain all of this. Debut year is extremely hard, I think, because we all go in hoping that we’re going to break out, we’re going to be that one darling, we’re going to be the lead title that our publisher puts all the money into. And it rarely happens, you know?

Publishers are speculative companies. They buy up lots of things hoping one will take off. And when they get a sense for which one is going to take off, that’s where they put their focus, and very rarely is that you or me—just because they are publishing so many books, and they don’t have the resources to apply the same brush to every book. They can only pick 1-3 lead titles per season, and it’s probably not going to be you, Sooz.

So I wish that those were things that I had understood, because even though in theory, I suppose my agent prepared me for that (I'm sure she did), I still had this hope that, of course, my darling would be the one to break out.

Now the reality is: would I have listened? I don’t know. It is much like becoming a parent in that you cannot really understand until you are in it. But I do think…I would like to think that I would have listened and at least adjusted my expectations. Or, when the books—my first series—did not perform in the way that I’d hoped it would, I would have realized that it was not nearly as career-ruining as I thought.

On the one hand, it was because I really struggled to sell again, as you all know if you have followed me for very long. But at the same time, that…being unable to sell again taught me a lot. It gave me a lot of strength of character. It taught me about pivoting. It taught me about understanding why I do this and what my options are outside of traditional publishing.

And it has given me the knowledge and experience I need to be a lot less afraid when things don't go the way that I want them to go, both in life and in this career.

And so, yes, on the one hand, I’m I wish I had been better prepared emotionally for what it feels like to have your book do badly and to know that you're going to struggle to sell again. But at the same time, those lessons have been lifelong, and I am just so grateful that I was ever able to sell again.

Because when your first series doesn’t perform, it can be challenging. But that challenge also never goes away. It remains challenging, every new series that doesn’t perform can make the next sale harder. It is the reality and it is good to have learned about reality early on.

But the other thing you have to consider is, when you’re a debut, you don't have your not known quality quantity yet. So there is no audience, even if they're small, to tap into. People aren't necessarily going to risk money on someone they've never heard of. And so each new book that you add to your backlist, the higher your chances are of the next book being the thing that breaks you out. You are putting more opportunities out there, new entryways and entry points for readers.

And yeah, I always tell people:if you’re going to pick between focusing on social media or writing the next book, always write the next book.

Very rarely are you going to be able to make, you know, a huge online following. Just as you can’t make “fetch” happen with your books, but you can write more books and give yourself more opportunities to finally break out.

And it’s also okay if you never break out! It is the reality that many—like I said, there are many authors out there and many people never become bestsellers, but it doesn’t mean you can’t sustain yourself. It doesn’t mean you can’t continue to have readers and have a fulfilling creative life and and write what you love to write.

I also feel like I should now apologize for how many pauses there are where I have to breathe. It’s my asthma! I struggle to talk a lot…which oh my gosh, I go on book tour tomorrow. Let’s see how the public speaking goes when I can barely talk for very long without these huge inhales!

Yes, I picked a great time to start recording for you guys. Oh my gosh, this is classic Susan.

My agent is always like, “Why do you do things without thinking them through? You just start them because you had a good idea".” And sometimes they pay off, like the Luminaries on on Twitter back when it was still Twitter. And sometimes they don’t, like trying to do the Luminaries on Instagram.(That didn’t work at all, by the way.)

But yeah, I thought I would try this new format because I am, like I said, trying to find time, build more time. So I can finish my books without sacrificing the Substack.

I won’t always be doing recordings because sometimes, for example, my daughter also has asthma (far worse than mine) and will stay home sometimes. And on days like that, I will not be recording and will write things. Usually I can’t, like, write in my books when she’s home because she’s very distracting. She is four. But on those days, I can write these sorts of posts. And so I will do that.

I also…if I’m like on a plane, I like to do my Substack posts. And I don’t really think my neighbors would appreciate if I am recording the entire flight.

So yes, these will be something I want to try to do, sort of interspersed along with text posts. You’ll have to let me know in the comments if you like it!

Like please leave a comment, if this works for you!

You can tell I am not editing, I am not polishing, I am not even filtering myself. I’m just talking. And if that works for you, great! If not cool, you don’t have to listen either. There will be a transcript. It may not be accurate, but there will be a transcript.

And yeah, I feel like I also need a cool name for these. You know, “News with Sooz” always rhymed, but I don’t have anything for recording. So if you have an idea for that, please leave a comment as well!

And I will sign off now. Thanks for listening to my very rambley response…with radical transparency and I will be back soon for you to listen to or read!