Cross Finish Lines & Celebrate Milestones
M&D#175
1. Latest News from the Desk of Sooz:
June 2022 —
I have now stared into the abyss, my friends, and it wears the face of my screaming child.
I honestly felt more despair last week than I have since this girl was born. I feel embarrassed even admitting that. She has never been a particularly chill baby, but I have really prided myself on how well I've kept my cool.
But y'all, last week was...Well, it was something.
Thank the lord above, I finally found childcare. On the one hand, the new babysitter is what triggered The Week of the Abyss, as it shall henceforth be known. Cricket was, ah...not happy about being with someone who isn't her mama. And she made sure to let EVERYONE KNOW. Constantly. All day, all night.
But this week has been 100000x better, and I have at long last found my groove again with work. I had no idea how much I missed having a proper work day. FOUR WHOLE HOURS ALL TO MYSELF. 🥺
2. Writing Prompts
STORY PROMPT
A small child is possessed by a demon on the playground. Her name is Cricket.
JOURNALING PROMPT
After two years of momming full time and attempting to still write and meet deadlines, I now see how truly precious consistent alone time can be for proper deep work. Are you able to make that time for the work you care most about? Or, on the flip side, are you finding your balance tips too much toward work?
3. For the Daydreamers: Crossing Finish Lines
After my Week of the Abyss, I really, really needed a win. I was truly in a dark place last Friday.
So I decided to sign up for a 5K race that was...the very next morning. The race was slated for exactly 364 days after I first began running. It felt fated, you know? Plus, what a fun way to celebrate the strides (lol) I've made in that area of my life.
I had no time to get nervous about the race, since I signed up so late.  Plus, the race was literally down the street from me, so I half-walked/half-jogged there as my warm up, arrived with just enough time to get my music lined up...
And off I went!
At first, I was like, "Whoa, this is way too fast. Surely this can't last?"
Somehow, it did though, and the first mile flew by. Then suddenly I was at the second mile, and there was the Frenchman and Cricket! Cheering me on!! It felt incredible to see my little girl on her daddy's shoulders. She had no idea why she was clapping, but boy was she into it.
I AM NOT A DEMON FROM THE ABYSS, MAMA! I AM A SWEET ANGEL!
Then, with only one mile left to go, I pushed it into high gear. It was almost entirely uphill on that last mile...but it didn't matter. I reached the end in record time (well, record for me), and I was so fast, the Frenchman and Cricket couldn't get to the finish line before I did.
Like literally, I was already stretching by the time they finally rolled around. 😒
And good golly Miss Molly, I was grinning ear to ear too. I couldn't believe how fast I'd gone. I couldn't believe how fun it was to run with other people.
It was the best way to cap off the Week of the Abyss. Here was tangible evidence my hard work had paid off. Here was a place where putting in the training actually led to results.
I even got 4th place in my age group!!
Okay, Susan. Please stop bragging now. What is the effing point of all of this?
Last year, I wrote about how if your goals aren't working for you, change them. It was a revelation I had specifically with running, but one that also applied to my writing.
And now, here I am again with another revelation: cross finish lines.
Here's what I mean: let's say you've been toiling away at a book for over a year (cough, cough, Luminaries 2). Or maybe for over a decade. The obvious finish line for you is completing the book.
But the reality is that for many of us such a finish line isn't simple to reach. It's not just a matter of "putting in the work hours and at the end you will have a manuscript." For some writers, it is! They hammer out 1000 words a day, and bam. They have a new book every few months.
I ain't one of those people. And that's okay. I made peace with that long ago; I am in no way a failure because of it.
Still...IÂ do get discouraged when, no matter how hard I work, the finish line never seems to get any closer. It feels like a mirage on the desert horizon, always in sight but never within reach.
But as Oliver Burkeman says in Four Thousand Weeks:Â some things just take the time they take.
Cricket adjusting to the babysitter took the time it took. Her molars coming in (yes, that is also happening right now) takes the time it takes.
And writing a book takes the time it takes.
So does getting an agent. Or getting published. Or losing weight or gaining weight or finding your running stride. Some things simply cannot be hurried along. They do not operate by nice, neat little timelines. (Honestly, so few things actually do.)
It can be disheartening, frustrating, infuriating — CRICKET, JUST EAT THE EFFING APPLESAUCE. WE HAVE TO GO — and it’s all too easy to get caught up in a finish line that isn’t within reach.
So fp those inevitable instances, I say find a new finish line.
I’m not saying to change your goal. That was last year’s message, and you can read about that here. But many goals are worthwhile even if the beliefs underlying them need modification. Certainly completing your book is a worthy goal! Or getting a book deal or seeing your name in a bookstore!
Yet rather than despair that the finish line is still far off, pick a point within sight. Then, when you definitely, 100% reach that point, go celebrate.
Heck, pick a point you’ve already passed! Celebrate right now with how much you’ve accomplished. I don’t care if you’ve never actually put a word on the paper. Have you been daydreaming for six years? Have you been letting the ideas marinate?
That's not nothing. Without those ideas, you can't eventually write your book.
Or maybe you’ve written six versions of a book but keep tossing it out (wait, who? Me?). Those six versions are hard effort that you should be proud of. They’re the miles and miles you ran while training for that final finish.
It’s all too easy to be so fixated an end dream that we lose sight of everything we have done thus far.
No, I still haven’t finished Luminaries 2. But you know what I have done? Written >150,000 words that weren’t Right…only to eventually find the words that were Right. I have sat and simmered and worked during countless Cricket nap times. I have woken up long before the rest of the world to think and try and yes, ultimately backtrack.
But I actually do have words to show for it. in fact, I can actually see the real, final finish line ahead!
Perhaps more importantly though, I also see all the finish lines I had to first cross to get here, and tonight, I’m going to have a glass of wine to celebrate.
So here’s YOUR homework: where in your life are you feeling discouraged by a finish line hovering just out of reach? Is it a finish line you can’t totally control? Can you look back and see all the little steps you’ve taken to get here? Be proud of those. Celebrate them.
Some things just take the time they take, dear reader. That doesn’t mean we can’t feel triumphant for all effort and focus we committed along the way.
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